Something new

After 2 weeks of volunteering at my church's summer mission community events, I had a 'rest' week. Apart from a couple of football pre-season sessions, I hardly did anything. Netflix became the focal point of my attention (not for the first time!).

Monday morning came. I was half-awake and obviously I wasn't planning on getting out of bed anytime soon. My mum came home from work and she seemed way too eager to talk to me... 

Let's make this clear: There was NO "Netflix and chill"...

Turned out a friend from work (who I don't know) suggested that I go to her church's youth forum this week. 

"There will be people your own age. My friend's 16 year old daughter and 18 year old son are going. They'll help you out. They serve free food: breakfast, lunch and dinner, AND there's even a boy who went to your school who's going. You're sitting at home, bored, at least you can go make friends and listen to the Word of God."

I don't know what you would have done in my shoes but I went along with it.  

What did I have to lose? The only short term plan I had was to go to the park and practise some footie skills. That could wait a few days right?

It was only when my mum dropped me off at the friend's house that I realised what I'd let myself in for. Took me a while to clock that I was waiting in a living room of a stranger's house waiting with two girls (one actually blanked me when I said "Hi" as well...) who were basically ignoring my very presence. It was a whole heap of awkward.

Didn't get better when we actually arrived at the church either. Through the door windows, I could see about 50 young people in the main hall. Is it just me or do 18-21 year old people actually count as "my age"?  I felt like the baby of the group even though I do look a bit older.

(No jokes about how I look please. My ego really doesn't need another bruising. I get enough of that all year in school...)

The day had a bit of a Christian school sex-ed class feel to it. Yeah, the topic was sex and relationships. It was like a seminar/debate rolled into one. It was brutally real and to be honest, that made it really good. And a bit weird now I think about it.

Ever thought you will hear a pastor admit they like oral sex? Or hear a tale of an African dad offering his son the chance to sleep with a prostitute of his choice, expenses paid, when he finished his education?

Remembering I was stuck in a room with complete strangers, I kept silent throughout. But it did also make it feel like a female empowerment conference as well. It might as well have been a female empowerment conference..

The message of respecting girls and not ultimately trying to get in their pants is part of the morals every guy should have. But that's not the point I'm making.

No one really likes to step out of their comfort zone. Sticking to who you know and what you do best is the easy way out. But if you ever want to do anything extraordinary or have new experiences, you've got to step out of that shell and just do it (but not if we're talking about smoking and drugs, just don't do it).

Of course, it's never really that straightforward. Things out of your control can take place which can stop you but it can be worth it. The first two days of being there benefited me in a spiritual sense and I'm sort of glad I didn't hold back from going even though I was a complete stranger.

Unless you make the right choices, a 'just do it attitude" can get you in a lot of trouble but that's easily solved.

Think before you do and don't judge things AND people too easily. You might regret it.

"Open your arms to change but don't let go of your values" - Dalai Lama

#PrayforParis

The deadliest terrorist attack in Europe since 7/7 can only be described as sickening, vile, twisted, evil... Please, feel free to add to the list.

I will never understand terrorists. How can anyone justify the taking of innocent lives? And for what? As revenge? For your own personal political beliefs? It's just wrong. Ordinary people, who were just looking to have a nice evening at a restaurant, a concert,  a football match, suddenly gone. Just like that.

These militant attacks have been happening for a while now across the world and to be honest, I thought it was just another 'small'  vengeance assault (and just to be clear, that does not make it okay). But as the evening unfolded, I couldn't have been further from the truth.

Several attacks taking place at the same time, hostages taken, people slaughtered in restaurants and a concert hall, explosions near a stadium containing 80,000 people. I was thinking to myself, 'How did the intelligence service not know what was going to happen?', "How many more planned attacks are there?", "How many people are going to die?". If it wasn't for a particular steward, one bomber would have gone into the Stade de France and would have killed 80,000 people including the French President. Tens more hostages could have easily been killed as well.

Trying to keep updated, I learned of what was happening in Mexico, Japan and Lebanon and just like thousands of people I was thinking, "We live in a horrible world".

They definitely struck fear into god knows how many people. I imagine people in the centre of major cities this week and the next will have the thought dying in an attack at the back of their mind. Rumours have circulated about London being next, then Washington D.C. No one is safe sadly.

Yet the world came together in solidarity and in prayer. The colours of the French Flag covering most of the world's landmarks, the hashtag #PrayforParis and the spreading of #PorteOuverte on social media to allow people to seek shelter in Paris that fateful night. Touching yet sad that this had to happen.

Paris was dark, but the world was lit up for them.

The word 'Muslims' trended for a few hours that night and at first glance, I got angry. 'I bet people are blaming Muslims again for the actions of a splinter group' but were they? Well sadly there are some ignorant idiots who want to use even times like this to express their racist views but effectively every tweet was defending Muslims in some way or at least expressing support and sympathy for them as we all finally spoke out what 99.9% of the world knew already: TERRORISM HAS NO RELIGION.

I have not seen it often enough to be honest. Our generation, which is often branded as reckless and wild, universally showed our support for peace and diversity whilst showing sympathy and respect to the fallen. It helped many I'm sure to realise how precious life is and the task we're facing at defeating extremism.

Terrorism can be defeated. But how? I don't know. Bloodshed will continue and innocent lives will be lost before this is over but we've already shown we can stand together in solidarity in the face of adversity. Terrorists still don't seem to get that whenever there are racially or politically motivated attacks like this, they bring people even closer together. No race wars or stuff like that begin. We're not going to back down and let evil militants play with our fear.

Rest in peace to all that died.
Keep on praying for our world.

Mind = Blown

The same girl who I mentioned in my 2nd post on this blog took the step back in the summer that most women take which lead to many of us "good guys" getting angry and confused.
 

She got the guy she wanted at that party but it didn't turn into a classic Hollywood tale of childhood sweethearts (wow that's cringe isn't it?). I refer to this guy now as "the prick". The prick, to be fair, wasn't actually in a relationship with her but she was led on like a lamb to slaughter. He only went and cut off all contact with her while going after some other girls.

Heard that story before?

As you would suspect, she was pretty hung up on him and she told me how she would randomly burst out crying and that he was all she could think about. She knew that he was an idiot and that he's no good but she still wanted to be with him.

I've never backed away from my claims that I don't understand girls so...
 

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY GIRLS DO THIS THING AGAIN AND AGAIN... AND AGAIN?!!

Like come on, it doesn't make any sense! Is it just common to fall for someone just like that? I know that's a thing that happens when you're in like year 6. You know, the days when you would be in complete love with someone the day after you get into a 'relationship'... Relationships that were lucky to last a couple of weeks? Good times huh?

Now, it seems to me that some girls fall too hard for guys who are gonna take advantage of them and/or not give them respect. Because of this, they like to think that the guy can change. He'll turn from a heart-breaker to the best boyfriend ever, just like that.

You and me both know that's not how it works. Fair play for being an optimist but there's a difference between positivity and blind hope. Nearly every girl in that situation is blindly hoping for a miracle. To be honest, sometimes it can happen and things do work out for the better.

But that's rare. I know she's not the first girl to try it and she definitely won't be the last. My gut is telling me this won't have a happy ending though (and kids, ALWAYS trust your gut instinct).

It just seems too cliché to be actually happening in front of my very eyes. And then it leads to girls being closed up to everyone else cause they think all guys are like that.

But guys, come on... Let's not "hit it and quit it". You want to go around and bang whoever? Fine but don't do it to lead a girl on. Be honest about what you want and if you're gonna be friends with benefits or some complex sh*t like that then everyone's happy.

If you think I've got the wrong end of the stick with this one, then just explain it to me. Please. This is mind-blowing.

This pretty much sums up how I'm feeling...

But then again, do I actually expect anything less when it comes to girls?

Never Forget

 This was written back in August but I never got round to publishing.

I was just doing a worksheet from a German grammar summer homework booklet that I have to complete before school starts again. Only my school would do something like that...

Anyway, I was in the middle of working and my mum broke the news that the man who painted the whole interior of our house back in June, has been found dead in his flat. Now I didn't know him very well and I'm sure some of you would be thinking why on earth I'm writing about it.

He was only at our house for about 7 days but I got to know him well. He was a really good guy. Not a bad bone in his body. You would like him if you had got the chance to meet him.

It got to me more than I could ever imagine. The story of his death is tragic so I guess it's understandable. I said he had been found dead in his bed. But when paramedics came, they said he had already been dead for over a month. 

That word rocked me. It doesn't make sense how it took well over 30 days for friends (he wasn't married) to go and find him. There are people who die who are laid to rest in under a week.

For a good man's life to be cut short and the fact that no one knew he died for so long is distressing. No matter how well you know them.

A death of someone you know always brings up these emotions.

I never knew Jamal Ottun but the news of a young, happy, popular 17 year old guy, only about a year older than me, dying shook me up. Seeing all those tributes to him from his friends and even people who didn't know him and reading about the circumstances of his passing made me speechless. He must have been blown away by the response up there.

Drake's tribute to Jamal, thanks to an online campaign from friends, family and more than a few strangers...
 

The main fact of life is that it's short. And certain situations out of our control can make it even shorter. That's why it's important to appreciate who you have in your life and what you've got: your family, your friends, your education, your experiences etc.

There's always been a lot of talk about whether there's an afterlife or not. I believe that there is but I still believe that people live in through our memories of them, their legacy so to speak.

I hate to put a downer on things but we've really got to appreciate every day we have. Even just telling your family you love them once in a while because, God forbid, they might be gone one day when you're least expecting it.

Oh and leave a legacy. You don't need to create revolutionary software or write a bestselling book. Just do good things, just small acts of kindness that make other people's lives (and yours) better. Because they can go a really long way. Jamal and Gerry (the painter) touched other people's lives with their personalities and that's all it took for them to be remembered and missed so fondly.

RIP Gerry.

RIP Jamal.