Have your glass half full.

Shout out to my friend that I mentioned on my first post, who messaged me (while drunk) to tell me that she got the guy at that party.

As you know, I've been trying (in vain) to really understand girls for the last 5 years. I've got some idea now. I think. Since I'm no trustworthy source of information, I enquired the help of the most reliable ones out there: the girls themselves. Of course every girl is different and I must reiterate that. Me and my 'team' asked some girls two questions:

1. What they want in a guy
Common attributes: Funny, nice and caring, someone they are comfortable with, honest and there for them when they need him.

2. So how much do looks matter?

Average of 7.4/10
 

But then it was brought to my attention: What use is that information to a guy? A girl (or a guy) can say they want this, this and that in their ideal match but after all of that, they might end up going out, or even marrying in the future, someone the complete opposite. The only good news is that the common attributes above are very ambiguous so it's confirming what many already knew. After a bit of soul-searching I brought myself to these thoughts about self-confidence and motivation.

Most of us know what we want but do we really know what we need?

I've been all about self-change in the last two years. I realised that in my early secondary school years, I was insecure, shy and too introverted . Hey, I'll even admit that I got a bit too obsessed with girls in that time. "If I talk to as many as possible, eventually one will like me." Sad huh?

 

I kept on using the same, old boring 'tricks' and in my desperation of wanting to be liked, I often made a fool of myself. I kept on pursuing the ones who ignored me as well as the ones I had a crush on who only seemed to talk to me for the sake of it. I tried to be someone I wasn't.

 

Getting rid of a Blackberry was one of the best things I ever did. Even if it was because the phone broke... It got me away from the world of BBM and allowed me to re-evaluate who I thought I was. I didn't like what I realised.

 

You can't change your personality completely but you can change your behaviour and beliefs. I decided to try to believe in myself more (which is something you can successfully change) in all aspects of life: from schoolwork to my football ability. I also came upon a good life advice site called www.goodguyswag.com . One article talks about there being three types of guys out there: the players, the nice guys and the good guys.
 

I was a 'nice' guy. I thought that all girls only cared about looks and they were hypocrites for always going for the jerks even though they said they want a guy who treats them right. (Some still are though!)

Now I strive to be a 'good' guy where I now know that if you're just happy in yourself and you're a good person, you can't go wrong. If someone can't accept you as a person, it's their own god-damn problem.
 

I learned to accept myself with all my qualities (there are many) and my faults. You can try to change yourself to be that girl's ideal guy or that guy's dream girl but you'll just get found out eventually since you know deep-down that that's not who you are.
 

Self confidence and authenticity is the key. A positive attitude and desire often leads to positive results in most things you do and aim for. But this can only really happen when you can accept who you are, whether it may be the sound of your voice or the tone of your skin, then everything else can and usually does fall into place.  Watch this video whenever you're feeling down.

In the days where it's implied in movies and on the internet that you should have a supermodel's body if you're a girl or be very muscular if you're a guy, it can be hard to stay positive and motivated. Sure you might get that little more attention if you have those type of looks, but how long will that last? Looks aren't everything.

Exuding confidence (not cockiness) and having that positive attitude, that motivation, that ambition, is only half the journey for getting that crush, getting that job or whatever you aim to do. You've got to work for it. And you always have a chance. Why? You don't have to be perfect to get what you want, do what you want, to be who you want to be.

So be nice, be motivated and most of all, be happy.